drag and drop it, zip - unzip it

there's just something comforting about the sound of the albumin of a chicken egg hitting hot fat sizzling in a frying pan.

the clicky sound the spark of the stove makes when force is applied on top of a white circular press button thingy.

crack goes the shell; splat goes the egg.

midnight snacks and the crazy thoughts that accompany it.

crack, splat, sizzle.

kinda like my brain when it's being fried with all this buzzing in my head.

and out of nowhere i feel that life is so brief - just like that macbeth poem that we studied in form one.

tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow.

i still remember the first few verses because we used to repeat them in this funny voice in class.

this reminds me of the phrase i saw on facebook earlier - the psychology of regret.

regret.

once, i almost threw up because of that sickening feeling you get when you feel like you wasted your life.

nevermind, i shall go to sleep.

////////

we are so fortunate yet at times we act like bitches just because something doesn't go our way. and then the thought comes; who gives me the right to do so when we know so little of what it means to suffer? 

////////

green tea

i miss you
:(

burnnn

just when i thought you wouldn't outdo yourself...

thanks for the laugh!

bahahhahahhahaha

hola señor, ¿cómo estás?

Rhode Island is great. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm still back in Malaysia and then something snaps me back to reality; a cold gust of wind, the sight of a hot American guy or girl (haha), or the sound of accents that are so unlike a Malaysian one.

Nothing much has really changed aside from the fact that I am so busy now, I barely have time to watch tv. Yes, not even the temptation of the 99 cable channels can draw me away from my books. No. I just have too much to read and write.

I learnt how to say 'beer' in Spanish! Cerveza.

Happy, and getting a little chubby.

<3

sweet dreams from my childhood bed

it is currently 3.39AM and i am about 60% finished packing. i bought a giant orange hard-shell suitcase - the biggest size they had - and i really thought i wasn't bringing much. but now when all the things are clumped together, it really seems like there isn't enough space. haha.

granted, there are things that take up a lot of space like, this brown furry blanket which my mum is asking me to bring along to keep me warm. and a few recipe books for my reference. i keep asking myself; is this really necessary? and most of the time the answer is no. haha.

i am also surprised that i am bringing quite a small amount of clothes. i do realize that i am lacking pajamas. but i don't wanna waste precious luggage space bringing a bunch of old clothes that i'm only gonna sleep in.

anyways, all this packing is making me reminisce and nostalgic. there really isn't any better way to relive the past and get emotional a few times. and now, my room is in a real mess, but i'm just too tired to continue packing so, goodnight world.

let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of france

the checklist is 50% completed so far. but nothing truly feels real yet. no, i guess it won't feel real until the moment i get the flight ticket showing the date and time. or maybe not even then.

more than half of the year has gone by, and i've just been idle all this while, yet time passed so quickly. it hardly even feels like 7 months, but there it is. 7 months have passed and i'm approximately 24 days away from leaving.

bittersweet. i guess that's what most people feel. slightly more to the bitter side for now. i'm gonna miss so many things here, and with every day that passes, i don't know why, but i just feel anxious. the moment i get slightly excited, it quickly goes away and is replaced by some nostalgic feeling and i think of all the things i'm not going to have when i'm there.

i suppose i'm just emo about leaving malaysia. my home for the past 20 years. i don't know what to expect.

but i sure am glad i'm not going to be alone. :)

over

the funny thing about the past is that no matter how hard you try to forget it, it somehow manages to creep up on you in the most silent manner ever.

and then suddenly you find yourself looking back and feeling.... regret.

that's what happens to me anyway.

i hate thinking that you got a much better treatment from me than you deserved. i hate that i let you get away with so many things. i hate that i never gave you a chunk of my mind. i hate that you're off somewhere thinking you were the best ever, and that nothing you did was wrong. i hate how naive i was. but most of all, i hate that there is nothing that i can do about it.

it's probably too late to even bother with all these regrets, and wallowing in it once in awhile. i know that nothing good can ever come from it, but i can't just let it go like that.

i wish that i grew up and opened my mind to other things instead.

and no, it's not the same now. it was never my status, it was just you.

as much as i dislike the fact that you're getting away scot-free, it's not good for me to think about what should have been. so you know what, here's to you. i hope that you know that contrary to what you think, you need to do some growing up of your own and i hope one day if you think back on the past like i have, you will find that you did things that were wrong, and i sincerely hope you learn from it.

i'm trying my best to let this bitterness pass.

i need a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down.